Women in Polygamy

L

One of the respondents I interviewed was a 50 year old woman in a polygamous marriage. Her husband, S has 4 wives including her. She is the first wife who is registered as a legal spouse under the Shariah Law. She was married to S at the age of 15. She has 8 children by him. Her husband's second wife lives in the home lot provided him. Both wives live within a 1 metre proximity of each other. The second wife has 4 children by S. The third wife is not on amicable terms with L so she hardly spoke about this woman. All three wives' of S live in the same barangay. The fourth wife is rumoured to be in General Santos a city about 60 kms away from Mapantig. L was informed of this marriage by a close relative. 

Male Privilege

S earns P 6,000.00 as an assistant to a harvester. His job is to assist harvesters to lug the transfer the fresh fruit bunches to pick up points. This could mean he carries an average of 30 - 60 fresh fruit bunches. Each bunch can weigh up to 50 kgs. It is back breaking work. His wife, L informed us that he suffers greatly from stomach ulcers and body ache for which he seeks medical attention in a private hospital. The entire barangay knows of S's cruelty to his wife. She has long suffered abuse and mistreatment. It is a known fact that he neglects his duty of providing for his large family. The fact that he has four wives is a source of derision among the villagers. However, S considers it a symbol of his status as a leader among his community. He takes turn living with each wife two days in a week. 

Children

L talked about her daughter who is currently legally separated from her husband. She was repeatedly abused physically in the relationship. She has two children by her abusive ex-husband. She was 12 when she was married to this man. Both Zenia and I drew out breath instantaneously, upon hearing this. Apparently, it was a love marriage approved by the parents. I was hard put not to probe deeper. I really wanted to know what the concept of love meant to L. The same daughter was also sent overseas as a domestic maid later. Her employer deprived her of food which led to her running away from him. She sought refuge in the Philippines Embassy in Kuwait. After about a month, she was repatriated to the Philippines. She also spoke about her son who is a bakla. I asked her why she thought he was a bakla and she mentioned that his behaviour was effeminate. She mentioned it as a joke but I really could not allude to her meaning. This son was currently at home and had dropped out of school. Her elder 3 children studied in the Islamic school in the area, however her younger two children study in a public elementary school. 

Financial Difficulties

When we first asked L about the decision making processes between her and her husband, she mentioned that both of them made decisions together. As we probed deeper, we founded out that he hardly provided a stable contribution towards the family expenses. Not surprisingly, his contribution was limited to P 170 - 200 per month and bags of rice for the family's consumption.  She has no access to his credit facilities at the co-op store. She also has no access to his year subsidies and dividends. Her husband has obtained provident loan to purchase his motorbike. Apparently, this was purchased for the benefit of the family but her access to it is non-existent. However, S has enormous mobility which has enabled him to establish a relationship outside the barangay in General Santos. She admitted that she was the sole provider of the family and found it challenging to provide for the schooling needs of her children which amounted to P 1000 a month. She had applied for government aid for her children who are still in school at the barangay for the 4 Ps programme but was unsuccessful. 

Work

She is a loose fruit picker who is on the pay roll. Although she is a pay rolled worker, her income is limited to P 1000 to P 1500 a month. She has 5 women working with her, including her husband's second wife. At first, they had argued over and later had become friends out of necessity. They now work in the same group picking loose fruits. The family's source of drinking water was the deep well. The first time we went to make an appointment to meet her, I saw her washing an immense load of clothes. There were many children who were crowded around the house. They looked distinctly different from the children I had met. They looked less nourished and looked after.

Household matters

She collects firewood for cooking fuel. She needs to walk out 1 - 2 kms to gather firewood. She collects these for about three hours which will be sufficient for a month's supply. She bring home the wood by hiring a motorcycle for the purpose. 

Control

The interview had been progressing very well and she was talking about the lack of support from her husband and how she was singularly burdened with household responsibilities. However, I noticed her immediate change in demeanor around her husband. Her voice lowered into a whisper, S had been eaves-dropping on the interview without our knowledge. Nevertheless, she had noticed him and she completely became non-participatory. He walked in as the interview was concluding. His body language displayed dominance over her. We had to fetch her for the interview because we were worried we might not be able to get her. However, at the end of the interview, S had emerged from nowhere to take her home.